My Sexual Identity is "Person" and my Standards are "Balance"

*Disclaimer; the following blog post is based purely off of opinion based in experience, and psychological training. This is not based off of study or tested hypothesis and is composed purely of observation.

I stumbled upon this picture on Facebook and it struck a chord in my head on something that's been bugging me for a long time; women in general have a higher tendency to be more emotionally intelligent, while this is something that can be found and/or trained in anyone of any gender, women have a supporting ability that has been both utilized and depressed throughout history and culture. A woman friend can be your strongest ally--sadly nowadays, there's a weird stigma on the male-female friendship because of the assumption heterosexual people of the opposite sex are only around each other to copulate. Although there is an ideal solution to this problem, if you consider it as such, I am also going to explain why this stigma exists and how it can healthily broken down or built up depending on the situation, and also the fact that this is a prominent issue only in a specific age group (14-40) and why this age group can be so large.

Personally I find this idea that men and women are only meant to copulate as oppressing as the idea homosexual men and women are always coming onto you just because you happen to be the same sex. Does sexuality really determine, not only our mating potentials, but also our friendship potentials as well? Personally, I don't think it does, however there is some loose anchor in fact here.

Evolutionarily, species are meant to progress through heritability. Men and women have opposing genitalia that allow them to procreate so naturally, there is innate attraction towards the opposite sex. If we want to live, we gotta get it on, and we gotta get it on a lot to compensate for the death rate. This also explains the evolutionarily and societal construction of our mating periods; puberty says do it young, and society says get married at 30. This problem spans over a large age group because of these two constructions and pressures to procreate.

However, there are other factors that also naturally contradict the need to have sex consistently to keep the species going, aside from bad pick up lines from the 70s. Something that people seem to forget is that we are also by nature a species of community. Many other species act on this rule, such as canines, primates, certain marine life, insects, and many more. They travel in packs, swarms, troops, pods, clouds, congregations and whatever other words you'd like to apply but overall, we're not a one-man species, and this is consistent throughout nature. Community helps not only in hunting and nursery, but other things as well. It has seen that, in an example of wolves, that these guys have a higher life expectancy together rather when they get separated from the pack. It creates stability.

Community is just as essential as copulation, two similar yet separate states. Two people can be friends with no assumption of sexual activity, if you are mature enough to understand that people need groups, however large or small, to be mentally stable. Life is not about sex. Love is not about sex. Friendship shouldn't be, either, and the fact that our sexual identity also determines which sex we can become friends with is not only annoyingly segregating, but not founded in solid truths. This is not even tapping into the monogamous tendencies that certain species exemplify, which includes humans.

And on the other side of this, this is exactly the issues presented to homosexual persons as well. You find it annoying? Think about these guys. Consistently, gay men are found without male friends, regardless of a lack of sexual attraction, because of this assumption. And lesbian women? Hell, girls can be vicious. Bisexuals also hit this point hard because they are attracted to both genders, and where do you think that leaves them?

Now remove sexuality, and back to the point; regardless of this, men and women need each other. This does not say that if you'd rather a same-sex partnership that you are unbalanced, no, but there is a tendency and idea that opposites bring balance. In terms of cis vs. trans, you can have these traits in any gender, however we are going on the assumption that, on average, women and men are born with natural balancing effects when brought together. A better example supporting that same-sex partnership brings balance, is when you have a classic scale, like this; they were originally meant for bartering when worth was measured in the weight of the coins and the metals they were made of. This was perfect for international economy because as long as they weighed the same and were balanced, two different coins were considered of equal value (if the two countries used the same system of the scale, however that is irrelevant for this metaphor). Yet, what about the same currency? As long as the scale was balanced, they were equal value. Whether the currency was different or the same.

This is an interesting way of thinking of it, but as long as it gets the point across. You can be the same-sex or of different sex, as long as you're balanced. Naturally, going back to the evolutionary point, if we're made in two different ways to continue the species, we must balance and support each other if we're going to procreate together. Logical assumption, yes? In general terms.

Yet this post means, if you are of male sex, you need someone of female sex. Women are supportive, get mad so you don't have to, lend a listening ear, and make come backs better than Doc Martins and accent braids. Women and men balance out each other. It doesn't matter your sexuality, grab your brother, sister, best friend, parent--whoever, someone of the opposite sex can help you define things in your life better.

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Before we go, let's take two steps forward; can't boys and girls be friends without blood relation or sexual tension? Hell, can't I call one of my best friend's boyfriends also my best friend and not get rude comments thrown my way? I've hung out and talked with one friend, Anthony, alone before with no weird spooky stuff, and it has helped me in the most trying of times. Both of our significant others take care of the 75% of the problems, and my best friend (who is the girlfriend of said Anthony) takes care of the 24% shared with another best female friend of mine, but sometimes I need the advice of someone who isn't romantically involved with me, not a girl, and not related to tell me feedback of my actions, to grab that 1%. It's refreshing, and my relationship with my boyfriend is better because of it.

So, last step we'll take; let us look at those who come into our lives, not as a gender, or a sex, or as a conquest or sexual endeavor, but as who and what they really are; people. Personally, I don't give this benefit of a doubt to everyone, because this world kind of sucks, but for those who have established their character in the way that makes me wanna put a friendship bracelet on it, they automatically become people, not boys or girls to me.

Everything else is just a beautiful embellishment.

(My apologies for the spread out discussion here, this was more a transcript of a verbal conversation I've had, and it took a few turns, but I hope that you enjoy it.)